Becoming YOU

We all had dreams when were little, things we wanted to do and to become. If we're honest, most of us have not exactly turned out the way we imagined. As we think back, we may even chuckle about our earliest ambitions in life. But what if they are more than just childish dreams? What if they reveal something about who we truly are?

MY CHILDHOOD DREAM

When I was a little girl, my dream was to become a trainer for dolphins. In fact, I loved dolphins so much that I drew a lot of pictures of them and I had several posters of dolphins pinned on my bedroom wall. Maybe the “Flipper” TV series had something to do with my passion... or maybe it was the aqua show my parents took me to as a little girl.

Be it as it may, I would dream about taming dolphins, training them and developing a special connection with them. Seriously... who wouldn't want to have a dolphin as a friend? I also dreamt about creating beautiful shows together with them that would bring joy and delight to people. Just thinking about that childhood dream makes me feel all gooey and happy on the inside again.

I have since given up that dream, one of the reasons being that I would rather see dolphins live freely in the ocean than restrained to a pool. But another reason was that I simply became an adult. Practical. Be responsible. Study something and stick to a career. Be ambitious. Go change the world.

Training dolphins did not seem to fit the mold.

As a young adult, I have struggled to find a career. I have lived in several countries and done a variety of jobs along the way. All of those experiences have given me a broad perspective on how organisations are run, on people and on life in general. In the end, it's led me to become a life coach and I am thankful for that!

But... As I meditate on my childhood dream, it makes me wonder...

How many dreams have I discarded because they didn't seem “useful”? “Important”? “Worthy”? “Practical”?

I mean, what good does it do to train dolphins and create a show with them? How does it help people? Contribute to a more just society? In short, why would I be doing this when there is so much else to do to make the Earth a better place?

Yet the little girl in me just marvels at beauty wherever she finds it. She delights in the many wonders of nature and just wants to be a part in it. She doesn't carry the world on her shoulders. She is just being herself, full of joy, excitement and wonder.

To be frank, I want to be that girl again.

Don't get me wrong : I love being an adult. It's taken me a while to settle into adulthood but here I finally am. There is a real satisfaction in taking responsibility for your life and owning it. Yet... Isn't being adult also about allowing the child in us to grow and develop and fully express itself?

Think about it. What if our childhood dreams actually reveal something about who we truly are? The undiluted, creative, beautiful essence of YOU? The real you, the one who is not afraid of anything, who is not defined by do's and don'ts, who trusts easily, who simply and spontaneously reflects the image of the God who created it?

Being an adult doesn't mean putting away our true selves. Rather, we can use our practical adult skillset to create space and opportunities to express who we really are.

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RECONNECTING TO WHO YOU TRULY ARE

If you are up for it, this can be the beginning of the most amazing adventure : getting to know yourself in a deeper way and allowing yourself to be who truly you are.

Reconnecting to our true selves can be tough. In fact, for many of us we don't even know anymore what that would look like. We have become so used to fitting into a mould that we stopped connecting to what makes us feel truly alive.

Sometimes it can even be painful. As we were growing up, there may have been some parts of us that were not valued, rejected or even ridiculed by the people around you. So we learnt to put these things aside and put on a mask. Reconnecting to those discarded parts of ourselves means confronting the pain of rejection and shame. It's a process that can take a long time.

But deep inside of you, there is a beautiful creation, fearfully and wonderfully made, that desperately wants to find a voice, an expression, a way to leave a mark in this world. You were never meant to dim down any part of you. You were meant to shine by simply being you!

So how can we reconnect to our true selves? Where do we start?

A few things have helped me along the way, hopefully they will give you some clues as well :

1. Think about moments when you feel truly alive, energised, peaceful and full of purpose. What are you doing? Where are you? Who are you with?

2. Think about what you liked as a child. What were you passionate about? What were your hobbies? What activities could you do endlessly while time just flew by?

3. Ask people who knew you as a child what you were like. How did they see you? What was your character like? What were you passionate about?

4. If you have any photos of yourself as a child, take them out and look at them intentionally. What do you see? What can you learn from this child?

5. What were you dreaming about doing with your life as a child? They may seem a bit extravagant or naive to you now. But please, don't laugh them off. Instead, meditate on them and ask yourself what those dreams reveal about you.

For example, as I think about my dolphin dream, I realise that my true self enjoys beauty and fun, connecting with all sorts of creatures, nurturing relationships, sharing joy and creating something not just for myself but for others also. How wonderful is that!

But somehow, there are voices inside of me that tell me that surely, this is not enough. “Life is about more than just fun and relationships”. “You should buckle down and be serious”. “Think about all the talent you have, are you going to waste it?”

To be frank, I don't know where these voices are from. They are probably a mixture of a lot of things, and some of what they say is not completely wrong. But for years, they have lead me to dial down the real Mareike, the one who enjoys life in all simplicity and shares its wonders with the people around her.

But what if being my true self is enough? What if who I am deep down is how God made me and that is just right? What if being myself is all that is required of me?

And what if... what if... that is how I change the world around me?

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YOU ARE A WORK OF ART

Back to you. I don't know what you will discover on your journey as you explore your true self but I hope that it will start dreaming again. There may be some pain involved in the process, because to some degree we have all learnt to put on masks to hide parts of ourselves. As we peak behind the facade and start reconnecting with those hidden places, we can feel all sorts of emotions that can be unsettling.

But please, no matter how you feel : don't give up.

Because hopefully, you will also realise just how stunning and amazing YOU are. Not just some bits of you, but ALL of you. God put so much intention into creating you ! He poured himself into you, just like an artist pours himself into his creation, exposing Himself in all vulnerability for the world to see Him – through you.

Do you realise it? Can you see it? You are a work of Art! Precious. Unique. Astounding. Beautiful.

Breathtaking.

You have always been enough. There was never a time when you were not acceptable. You have always been worthy of love, valuable, and just right the way you are. People and circumstances may have told you otherwise, but let the Artist who made you define your worth.

As you explore who you are, let Him whisper in your ear what He thinks about you, how He made you and how you change the world...

By simply being YOU.

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PS : I am very thankful to Laura Duncan, an emotional health consultant who developed the Compassion method. I have met with her on Skype several times and she has helped me to work through some of my emotional needs and triggers, thus helping me to gradually reconnect to my true self. The good news is that Laura has recently developed a series of Podcasts that is available on iTunes and Spotify, entitled "Triggered and True". I highly recommend them, as they offer great insights and wisdom. So if you're interested in the topic, go check them out (starting at episode 1)!